Now that we are successfully on the other side of wedding planning, I present to you my advice and the (few) things I would have done differently.
1. Confirm ALL vendors. I can't stress this enough! I called two weeks before the wedding to check my makeup appointment and they had no record of me, even though I had booked 4 months in advance. I've heard stories of limos that never arrived and restaurants that lost rehearsal dinner reservations, so please make sure you follow up to avoid disappointment.
2. Make a photo list for your photographer. Include specific details or locations you'd like to see in your wedding photos as well as all the important people you want in formal portraits. Identify the main players as this will be the first time your photographer meets your bridal party.
3. Give your photographer a heads up about where special or important guests will be sitting at the reception. Your photographer will be trying to figure out who to take candid pictures of, especially at a large wedding. It sounds a bit crazy, but giving her a heads up will keep you from getting shots of your cousin's date or a work colleague who you may not want captured forever in your wedding album.
4. Friends who contribute to your wedding are beautiful creatures who should be appreciated for their efforts, so be sure to thank them! However, use caution when choosing friends for professional services that really matter to you. Is it worth the resentment or strained relationships when things don't turn out how you expected?
5. Be in the moment! The day will go quickly and I'm so glad that I took the time to look around and appreciate all of the love, support and beautiful moments we had that day.
6. Try to borrow as many items as you can. Not only is it budget friendly, but you'll have a special personal connection to things at your wedding. Wearing your mother's veil, cutting the cake with the set your grandma used at her wedding or toasting with your aunt's crystal gives you warm fuzzies!
7. Make life easy for your bridal party and those with special roles in your wedding by providing a detailed schedule a few days before. The Type A personalities you know will appreciate having a plan for the big day, and it keeps you from nagging or having to contact people in the busy days leading up to the main event.
8. Take time for yourselves. I really wish that J and I had some time alone just after the ceremony (or really, at any point in the day) to privately share how awesome it was to be newly married. It's tempting to spend all your time visiting with guests, but do remember to eat and stay hydrated throughout the day as well. All that smiling and hugging is hard work!
9. I also wish that we gave our camera to a close friend or family member to take pictures with it at the wedding. Obviously, the bridal party weren't able to take our own shots and it would have been nice to enjoy images from the day right away, instead of waiting many weeks for our pro pics or hoping that guests would share their pics with us.
10. It's all about the two of you. Develop a clear vision of what you both want for your wedding and use lots of pictures to clearly communicate your ideas to vendors. Focus your energy on a few top priorities and trust others to handle everything else. Aside from the whole marriage part, I felt like J and I became a team of adults when planning this wedding because it taught us to made decisions together and then own them. We never apologized for our choices or compromised on our vision and we stopped worrying about pleasing everyone.
Happy planning, future brides!
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